These days, it’s common to see many relationships fall apart even before they make it down the aisle.
Too many couples are going their separate ways after years of being in a relationship and others are settling for a ‘come we stay’ situation.
Despite the failures in dating, the fact is that people would still want to marry the love of their lives but something somewhere doesn’t smell quite right.
For you, this might be exactly what you have been going through. You’re finding yourself in relationships that don’t make sense and are now wondering why you’re not married yet?
Well, if you never got the closure as to what brought the end of your last serious relationship that you were hoping would be the one, you may want to read this for some clarity:
1. You have unrealistic expectations
We all want to be with someone who we are attracted to. There is no shame in not choosing someone you don’t like because it could actually hurt your relationship in the long run.
At the same time, so many people are really focused on finding perfection like wanting a tall, dark and handsome Christian man with a six pack, who can afford to take you on expensive shopping trips and vacations, who has no kids and wants to marry you, the ridiculous list goes on.
If you’re moving from one relationship to the other because he or she doesn’t tick all your boxes, better brace yourself for a hard time of loneliness ahead.
2. You’re dating the wrong people
Dating emotionally unavailable people or people who don’t believe in marriage will never work out well for you. You will only waste your life for months or years thinking that things will change soon but they almost never do in most circumstances.
Basically, avoid dating people who don’t have the same goals you do or are not available like married men or men who chosen to live the bachelor life.
3. You’re not clear on what you want
There are many situations that could be hindering you from getting the happy marriage you want. Maybe you’re so busy with other things like getting your masters, boosting your career or parenting, to a point where you don’t realize you have been putting your relationships at the bottom of your list.
For a relationship to work and lead to marriage, you need to show that you are actually devoted. Other areas in life are important yes, but you need to create the right balance as well.
Let your partner know that you value them and your life is not consumed with things outside him. Otherwise, he will not feel needed or see the purpose he serves in your life which may lead him to walk away and find a woman who sees and appreciates his value.
4. Your only goal is to get married
It’s definitely important to make marriage a priority especially if you believe in certain values like having kids within a marriage.
However, many women are actually only focused on getting married to keep up with their friends, prove to their annoying aunties that they can lock down a man or throw an extravagant wedding to show their financial weight while caring less about the marriage itself.
Yes, you may want to walk down the aisle but are you wife material? What do you have to offer this man that other women cannot give him outside sex?
Being obsessed about marriage can give off a desperate vibe and push genuinely marriage minded men away. This is why many relationships and potential relationships break down early.
5. You’re not ready
Going into a relationship with the right attitude and a marriage mindset is key. You need to be clear that you’re looking for something that will lead to marriage and be willing to learn the skills that you need to have as a wife.
If you’re truly honest with yourself, you will realize that you may have been to blame for some breakups. Check yourself, listen to genuine criticism about yourself from loved ones and book yourself some therapy if you have to.
What could be stopping you from getting that ring may have nothing to do with the men but you. Find out what the problem is and deal with it before going into your next relationship.