15 Sadly Hilarious Christian Breakup Lines
Breaking up is hard to do β¦ unless of course, you have God on your side!
We know, there are plenty of good reasons to break up with someoneβand many may actually be spiritual or theological. But we also know how some people in Christian circles tend to use βGodβ as an easy way out of awkward situations.
While thereβs plenty of ways to, uh, twist Godβs Word to fit your current situation, we feel like we should advise to not use Scripture to break up with someone. That being said, here are a few hysterical β kind of depressing but still hysterical β ways to break up with someone.
1. βI think we should just be prayer partners.β
2. βItβs not you, itβs Jesus.β
3. βI do love you, but itβs only an agape type of love right now.β
4. βLast night, it got a little too secular for me.β
5. βAt the rate Iβm growing spiritually, youβll never be able to catch up.β
6. βYouβre my sister (or brother) in the Lord, and I just donβt feel right about dating my sister.β
7. βIβm modeling my life after Jesus, and he was celibate.β
8. βGod loves me and must have a better plan for my life.β
9. βIβve read C.S. Lewisβ Four Loves and youβre not one of them.β
10. βI feel like Peter: I used to walk on water when I thought of you but now Iβm sinking and just need to get back into the boat.β
11. βIβm sorry, itβs just not Godβs will.β
12. βI feel called to the mission field. As far away from you and as soon as possible.β
13. βIt could never work. Iβm Arminian and youβre Calvinist. Itβs like I chose you, but God chose me for you. Itβs like you have no will in this relationship at all.β
14. βI think we should just be prayer partners.β
15. βI really want to get out of my comfort zone.β
Source: relevantmagazine.com